Friday, September 11, 2009

Something has to be done.

Well, it's obviously been a while since I have posted on here, but I just wanted to because I'm going through a lot right now and the only way I seem to be able to get through anything is to write about it.

As most of you know, I have been single for a few months. I've dated one girl since I dated Courtney, and things between us just didn't seem to click. We remain friends, however, and continue talking.

I started my senior year of high school this past month and so far its going great. My favorite class has to be Theater 1 because I discovered I love acting however nervous it makes me. I do enjoy it and hope to continue with it.

I recently had a situation happen between Courtney and I that have many of you in question and I just want to clear it up. She wanted to get back together, and so I agreed and we were talking for a few days. Then for a reason that shall remain unknown to me, I decided it was best we didn't get back together. So then we had a day off so to speak and then started talking again. I apologized to her, and we went on our merry way. Then, once again, I had a mind change for reasons I am unaware of and told her we shouldn't get back together. Again. Yes. By this point I was feeling really bad. I felt like this until I had another change of heart that I did want to be with her, for a reason I am unaware. So I talked to her about it, well, texted her, and she said she was going to think about it. I didn't deserve to be back with her for what I put her through, so I just continued on hoping for the best. Then, tonight, while at incredible pizza company, I decided to stop all this. I was tired of feeling bad and I was tired of having others suffer due to my stupid teenage hormones and unknown feelings. So I called and left a voice mail explaining this and as of right now I am single and going to be that way until something happens. In other words, I'm going to wait and see what the world is going to throw at me. So for anyone else that is confused, I am sorry, and to Courtney especially I am sorry for what I did. I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope you understand where I am coming from when I say I have to figure myself out.

As for tomorrow, going to try and see my cousin Ashleigh at her dorm, and then work from 3 til 10. I hope everyone has a good night. Sleep well.